God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"
"No," replies the adopted kid.
"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.
If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.
Like if you dislike emos.
Whats the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until your a teen to cum on your face.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.
What do emo kids have in common with orphans?
They both depress'd on the inside.
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.
Emos are so predictable: sleep, eat, cut, repeat.
I like Little Johnny's tight booty cheeks.
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!
What's an emo kid's favorite movie?
Suicide Squad.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
Why are emo kids the best jumpers?
Because they never fall down.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
