Technology jokes

How do computers get drunk?

They take a screenshot.

What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.

What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?

A 797.

Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.

Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D

The time is 9:11, time to put your phones on airplane mode.

What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?

SPACE.

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.

Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?

He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.

I made an orphan's website, but there was no homepage--because they don't have a home.

What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.

I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!

Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!

I made a website about orphans.

It didn’t have a home page!

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my friend was mute she said, “Can't you unmute her?”

Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...

I really need some new parts to my go-kart.

How does a tree access the internet?

By logging in and branching out!