Teacher jokes

So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!

My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.

My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.

My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.

Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.

Why did the orphan cry to the teacher? Because they have no one else.

Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

Fat teachers be like: "I hope you're paying a ten chin."

What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.

I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.

Student: It's hot in here.

Teacher: That's because I'm in here.

Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?

Because he cheated on a test.

So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.

1 hour before:

So let me get...

Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!

Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!