Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones
North Tower: Hey south tower we can talk later I gotta catch a plane
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
Holy cow! A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.
Guy: Let's drop the soap.
Girl: Let's do it!
If you don't have big Nyash,
Lower your voice while talking to me, you Mau Mau warrior. 😂😂😂
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎
What Did the North tower say to the south tower? Let's talk later I need to catch a plane
The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick...she still isn't talking to me
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?
Wait a minute! What am I talking about?
The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if i'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.
