Surprise

Surprise jokes

Muffin

    • Two muffins are in an oven.

    One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"

    The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

    Surprise memes

    Toaster

    • And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”

    But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.

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    • Shooting Range

    • I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

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    • Man

    • How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.

    He said, "Best surprise ever!"

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    • Pregnancy

    • My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

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    • Death

    • You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

    Prank

    • Hola! This is when I pranked my mom! I took a fake lobster and put it in the toilet. The fake lobster was in your attic, used for lobster parties, but anyway, I put the fake lobster in the toilet, so when my mom comes in she will find it and overreact to it. Well, she did not overreact, she FREAKED OUT OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    First she screamed and then she looked at it and she saw it was fake. laterrrrrrr that's the prankster!

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    • Suicide

    • I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.

    It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️

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    • Shit

    • I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

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    • Killer

    • I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."

    Fork

    • A blind man went to a restaurant.

    "Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.

    The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"

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    • Pistol

    • I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

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