A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “she was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “perform the fucking autopsy!”
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity... She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked his what he was suppose to be. He answered," A turtle." 'Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again. The boy answered, " it's Michelle."
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her p*ssy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!
Why was baptism invented. How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
I'm so mad I got arrested for rape even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute but how was I supposed to know she never told me.
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow
me: *stabs vampire*
wife: omg
me: *beats vampire to death*
wife: OMG
me: what
wife: ur supposed to give them candy
me: well thats a sticky situation now isnt it barbara
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad. We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons. But before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted,"I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD".
shame on Penaldo for ruining the event😡
my girlfriends dog died so i got her a new one in replacement and she went off on me and yelled
"What am i supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza? It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before its cool.
Are you my fish because your supposed to be dead
fat kid jumps in the pool. the popular girl: I thought there was going to be a tsunami. the fat kid: I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean.
