Supermarket Jokes

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?

Because every Lidl helps.

I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.

Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.

Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.

...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."

What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?

People actually want stuff in a supermarket.

Two individuals wearing camouflage jackets and black balaclavas sit at a table with an Irish flag in the background. Text below reads: "THE IRA FANDOM IS DYING like this post to carbomb a British supermarket."

What store is the most public?

Publix!

I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.

I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?

"Put it in my bill."

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.

He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."

Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?

A: Jew-Osco

*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".

The whole lot collapsed and buried him.

What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store? The cashier scans their wrist too.

The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.

Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.