What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Why do orphans like Batman? They are 50% like him.
What is a group of depressed kids called? They are called the "Suicide Squad."
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
Yo mama is so fat Thanos snapped twice.
What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
I'm so confused. Who is Gwen? The only Gwen I can think of is the one from Spiderman. 😂
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
I am Thor.
And next year, I will be five.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!
Yo mama so stupid, she thought baseballs were at Batman!
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!
There is a dark alley. Who do you call?
Batman.
