Suicide jokes
I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.
The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.
Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.
Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite." Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly." Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game." Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..." Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
What did one depressed kid say to the other?
Hey, wanna hang together?
After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.