Suicide jokes
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope...
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Go Kermit, toaster bath.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
DEEZ NUTS!
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
Suicide gives you security for the future.
Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day, and you can choose to postpone it.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3
If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)