Suicide jokes
I only have sex with suicidal bitches because that pussy [is] limited edition.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
What's an emo kid's favorite movie?
Suicide Squad.
God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.
Hitler: Kills himself.
No joke.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.
That’s why no one will be hurt.
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.
Too bad he left him hanging.
Suicide
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.