Suicide jokes

You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.

Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.

How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?

Tie the bungee cord around his neck.

Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?

A: Wanna hang out?

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."

Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!

Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go!

If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder), will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian?

That was my brain teaser for you guys! Make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

What's a suicidal person's favorite game?

Hangman.

Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.

So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!

Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".

Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.

Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?

Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.

We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.

The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

The suicide squad.

Why did the orphan commit suicide?

So he could find home.