Suicide jokes
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
Did the tree high five the emos?
No, he just left them hanging.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?
The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?
I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.