Substance jokes

I had something about tripping over ice.

Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.

What is white and sticky?

Glue.

Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.

I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said, "Do you wanna?" Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun.

But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.

Ni tshike mbangi bcz ani zaha toilet, nikarhi Ni hlometela out side loko tiniba. Ni hlometela ndzeni ka poto.

What’s the difference between the milk and drugs?

My dad brought the drugs back, not the milk though! 😭