Substance jokes
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills.
The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation.
The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue.
In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said, "Do you wanna?" Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?
What’s the difference between the milk and drugs?
My dad brought the drugs back, not the milk though! 😭
I had something about tripping over ice.
Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
What is white and sticky?
Glue.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
Where are crackheads from?
OHIGHo