Student jokes
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
Teacher: "Stand up, class!"
She is sitting down.
Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
Student: Why does everyone hate me?
Another student: Because U got the A last night.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0
Student: 69 gay = xxx
Teacher: You're out!!!
Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*
😂😂😂😂