String

String Jokes

Guitar

Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?

It comes with no strings attached.

Man

The man was dangling by a string!

I was jealous the day he died.

Pinata

Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.

Knot

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

Elastic

You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.

Orphan

What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?

Because it’s the only magical string in his life.

Femboy

No one will fight me, who is brave and strong enough to beat this beta simp femboy?

Emo

Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.

Tampon

Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.

Crash

This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"

Tampon

Why don't midgets use tampons?

Answer: They are always tripping over the string.

Fire Truck

Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"

So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."

So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"

The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.

Stick

What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?

A fishing pole.

George Bush

I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.