Story jokes
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
"Why is Peter Pan always flying?"
"He never lands."
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers.
So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
Who are the fastest readers ever? 9/11 victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
Panchatantra is a collection of Indian fables.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!