Story jokes

What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?

New Yorkers.

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.

Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*

Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?

"Why is Peter Pan always flying?"

"He never lands."

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:

Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?

Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.

Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.

Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!

I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.

Beating the Akatsuki is easy... Naruto should've used painkillers instead. :)

"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.