Story jokes

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.

What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?

New Yorkers.

"Why is Peter Pan always flying?"

"He never lands."

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

Who are the fastest readers?

911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds.

He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

Panchatantra is a collection of Indian fables.

I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.

Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.

STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:

Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?

Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.

Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.

Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!

I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.