Story jokes
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers.
"Why is Peter Pan always flying?"
"He never lands."
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)
So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
Who are the fastest readers ever? 9/11 victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds.
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
Panchatantra is a collection of Indian fables.
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.