Story

Story Jokes

Dad

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.

Teacher

Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*

Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?

Democrat

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

House

Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.

Wish

Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.

The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

Naruto

Beating the Akatsuki is easy... Naruto should've used painkillers instead. :)

Emo

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

Grade

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

Lottery

STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:

Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?

Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.

Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.

Golfer

I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?

Victim

Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.

Orphanage

I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.

Time

"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"

Batman

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

Bear

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

House

He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.

Victim

Who are the fastest readers?

911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds.