Store Jokes

So an orphan walked into a store he gets lost and the store clerk asked do you need help finding your parent and the orphan ran out crying

Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing why?

Zozo the hobo is a hobo is a hobo remember he doesn’t have any money

What is a orphans favorite store, home depot

A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.

The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."

The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."

The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."

*A priest walks into a wine store*

"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."

Why should you never fart in an Apple store? Because they have no Windows!

a sister told her brother to walk to the store buy some candy watch movie with her while eating the candy (but he couldn't walk because he has no legs he couldn't buy candy because he has no arms he couldn't watch a movie because he was blind and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach who said he was real?)

a depressed guy walk into a utensil store and finds a knife but he didnt stab himself.... part 2 coming out tommorow

so I was walking in a store and a carrot and a lectus said "lectus leaf" to me.

your so ugly when you went to the makeup store it shut down

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.

WHat store has the most vegetables... A nursing home

A programmer and his wife.

She says, "We're out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."

After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.

The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"

He replies, "They had eggs."

A man went to buy 5 undie so he said hi 5 undis plz 1 4 each weekday.and then another man comes and said hi 7 undies please 1 for each day and theyll finish cleaning by sunday so the cashier said now thats more like it and then another person said hi 12 undies please wait imma double check january fe

a chemical store burned down and the firefighter just stand there but at the end the store fire just went out by himself. But the store owner still got angry.

store owner : why didn't you take out the fire ?? firefighter : yea but it went out by it self store owner : but still why ?? firefighter : your chemical store sells H20 store owner : oh i get it now

Things said by racist aliens:

"Some of my best friends are Green." "I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship." "You're very pretty for a Purple girl." "We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!" "Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people." "You 2-headed people are so stupid!" "No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes." "Get out of my store you grigger!" "The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"

The Mother and her Daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the Daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The Mother realized this and took off looking for her, after awhile, she found her tugging on a black man, the Mother asked "What are you doing" and the Daughter replied "I wan't the chocolate"