Store jokes

A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.

When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.

What is an orphan's least favorite store?

Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

What's wrong with Asian pet stores?

There's no pets.

I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.

What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?

The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.

Why did the son go to the store?

To find his dad.

Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.

What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?

The Home Depot.

What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?

The dollar store.

A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!

There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?

Home Depot.

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.

He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."

What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?

I have to Pikashoe.

Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?