Still jokes

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

Is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?

I have a joke about construction.

I'm still working on it.

Do you want to hear a building joke?

I am still working on it.

I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.

"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!

Which one do you want to watch? 😀"

A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.

I love still things.

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?

The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.

The gay couple was still packing their shit.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?

Your job still sucks!

Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.

Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.