Still jokes

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

I love still things.

Wanna hear a construction joke?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

I have a joke about construction.

I'm still working on it.

What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?

Your job still sucks!

Yo momma so fat, I took a photo of her last year and it's still printing.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!

A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.

Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.

Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.

Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.

A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?

The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.

The gay couple was still packing their shit.

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?

Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.