Still jokes

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Two husbands walk into a bar.

The first one says, "My wife is an angel."

The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."

My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!

Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

A boy and his friend were walking down the street.

Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"

Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."

Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."

Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.

He came in twice.

(like if u understand)

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.

Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!

Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."

I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.

“Are you still holding the ladder?”

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)

I never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."

"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."

"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."

"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."

"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."

"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."