Still Jokes

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.

What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.

What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.

Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."

Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"

Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."

Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.

One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"

The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"

How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause it's still dark in my basement.

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?

The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.

Two husbands walk into a bar.

The first one says, "My wife is an angel."

The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."

How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.