Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?
Stephen Walkins.
Louis Day is Steven Hawkins' identical twin.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
What do you call Steven Hawkins on pot
Pot wheels
