Stevens

Stevens jokes

Bar

Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...

WAITTTT WHATTT

Wheelchair

What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"

Movie

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

Girlfriend

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

Heaven

When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.

Restaurant

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

— Steven Wright

House

Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?

Yeah, neither has he.

Name

What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?

Stephen Walkins.

Hater

The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!

iPad

What happens when Steven Hawking dies?

Take his iPad to Cash Converters.