Stevens jokes

Steven Hawking was going to jerk off, nope. 😂

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?

Yeah, neither has he.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...

WAITTTT WHATTT

Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?

You have to look down to see him.

The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?

"Highway to Hell."

Steven Hawking's Sesh Cave, entry 50p, guaranteed Budweiser and ecstasy. Maybe a gram of heroin. You'll most likely see a mental 90-year-old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.

Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?

There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!

What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?

Stephen Walkins.

Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.

Who's never the last man standing?

Stephen Hawking.

You know how Stephen is smart, which class did he skip?

Leg day.

When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.

How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

— Steven Wright

What happens when Steven Hawking dies?

Take his iPad to Cash Converters.

Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.

Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?

Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.