Stevens jokes
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He forgot his log on password.
I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
Why did Stephen Hawking go out in the rain?
What’s impossible?
Steven Walkings.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
Stephen landed at Tilted and got 199 pumped, he's 1 shot!