Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
Anything.
Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
Teacher: What does a cow say?
Susie: Moo.
Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?
Jimmy: The duck goes quack.
Teacher: Now what does a pig say?
Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
