When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
👱♀️ 👱♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?
A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Some smile, others beam.
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
What kind of chocolate do racists hate?
Dark chocolate.
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
Q: What's really long and black?
A: The line at KFC.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
Why couldn't the blonde dial 911?
She couldn't find the 11.
Ching chong China.
Jing jong Japan.
Ting tong Taiwan.
Hing hong Hong Kong.
King kong Korea.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
