What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?
White Vans.
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."
The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."
The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
How to Chinese people name their kids? - They roll down a coin down the staircase and it says, ching chang chong...
