My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D
Two Australians walk into a bar. They run into the ceiling fan immediately.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
Really Karen?
If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
I hate straight people.
Why do people think that monsters are scary? Cuz they are so stupid.
Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.
Are you a toaster?
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
