Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking jokes

Wing

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!

Bar

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.

Heaven

Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.

Ramp

Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?

Because there wasn’t a ramp.

Time

Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.

Word

Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."

Cash Register

"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"

Heaven

Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.

Movie

There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.

It's called "Unplugged!"

Anthem

How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.

Blackout

For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?

He blacks out.

Wheelchair

Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?

A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.

Stairway

What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?

Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.

Death

The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.