Stephen Hawking jokes
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
Roll In Peace.
Why did Stephen Hawking get sacked from his job?
Because he was always rolling in late.
When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.
Hi. My name's Stephen Hawking. What's your disability?
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
I ate all of your mommy's orphans.
Come on guys, this is nasty, he was my uncle, ffs :(
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.