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I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.

Dogs say woof.

Cows say moo.

Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"

I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.

They always start with two towers downed.

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

I met a fat chick at the beach.

People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.

How do you know if a rapper's broke?

When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.