Stand jokes
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
One day little Jonny is in class. It is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids, so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid, stand up." Little Jonny stood up.
The teacher asked him, "Why do you think you're stupid?" Little Jonny said, "I don't think I am stupid."
Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied, "I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone."
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
NASA stands for naughty aliens spewing apricots.
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
What does FNAF stand for? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?
A brunette with bad breath.
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
The twin towers were the best soldiers ever. Stand together, fall together!
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
The "d" in Africa stands for democracy...
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.