Stand jokes
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first. "Moo!" says the second.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
Most people don't realize this, but the F in orphan stands for family.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Pov:You start writing son lyrics because you can't stand up for yourself knowing you've lost
Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.
The "p" in Africa stands for peace.
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.
An old man gets a call from the IRS.
The man on the phone says, “We’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly, and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.
The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office, and the man there says, ”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies, ”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says, ”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says, ”Alright, last chance. I bet you 50,000 I can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible, so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agent’s desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “Haha! I got you now!” But the man's lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands, and says, “He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit. Had a new mash, just landed. Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it. The verbal ting I can't stand it. Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it. Mad ting. Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it. Back on a Feltham landing. You ain't been in the hood like Robin. I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud). The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud). No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped. Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue that's dead.