Stand jokes

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.

Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯

What does Diana stand for?

Died In A Nasty Accident.

I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?

He thinks she should stand up for herself.

This is our motto- "Never fear orphans! You are even more special than diamonds."

Orphan club for ppl who stand up for orphans!

Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

The "F" in "Orphan" stands for "Famulu."

When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.

So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

What does NASA stand for?

Need a star A.S.A.P.!

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?

Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".

Why do disabled people not like comedians?

Because they do stand up.

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?

My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.