Stand Up Jokes

why do i tell bad jokes im a lesbian

what does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? a stand up comedian

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

None of these jokes really took off

These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian and I know how to BAKEon breakfast

2 jokes in a row babyyyyy

somone was bullying stephen so i said why do you not stand up for your self

What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady but no one knew because he couldn't stand up.

its so sad that Stephen hawkings cant stand up for himself

Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied He couldn’t stand up for him self

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon. 3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.” 4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. 5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river. 6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils. 7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope. 8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. 9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match. 10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee. 11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”). 12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted. 13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. 14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat. 15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball. 16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing. 17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.