Sports jokes
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
Question: What does baseball have that orphans don't?
Answer: A home.
If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
Memes
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Why couldn't the Orphan play baseball?
Because he couldn't find home!
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find a home.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
Arsenal
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.
Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.