Sports jokes
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find a home.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?
"We’ve got a runner!"
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't run home.
Why did the orphans miss most of the basketball games?
They missed the homecoming games.
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A Juan on Juan.
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way they’ll get love.
Arsenal
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.
Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.