Sports jokes
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
Why can't the Chinese play baseball? They ate all the bats.
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know how to hit a home run.
Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.
Why can orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
Why couldn't the Orphan play baseball?
Because he couldn't find home!
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
Question: What does baseball have that orphans don't?
Answer: A home.
If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
The baseball player knows where home base is.