Sports jokes
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
Don't worry about missing a shot after yelling "Kobe". He didn't make it either.
I wanted to play as Kobe Bryant on my gaming console, but the game kept crashing.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.
I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.