Sports jokes
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?
Ice Cube.
What's a rapper's favorite sport?
Rhyme racing.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
I: "Get a boomerang."
Type: "Why?"
Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."
Call me Kobe Bryant, cause I'm gonna helicopter out of this one.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
Why doesn't the Chinese have a cricket team?
It's cuz they always eat the bat.
Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't run home.
What do you call Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡
What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?
One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.