Sports jokes
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
What is Africa's most famous sport?
The Hunger Games.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Why are frogs good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.