Sports jokes

"Most Deadly Sport"

Playing chicken with a train!

Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.

What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.

Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?

Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂

I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.

I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.

What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?

They both can crash down.

What is Africa's most famous sport?

The Hunger Games.

My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.

We all yelled "Rocket league!"

Why are frogs good at basketball?

Because they always make jump shots.

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?

A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.

Why did the tiger lose at poker?

Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because there would be no home base.

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.