What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross? Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter Vacation.
Spend all night in a dark humour webpage
Go to orphanage today and read it to them And I'm sure if you go to school for disabled children, they should understand it
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there" the boy replied. The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked "do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" the boy replied " "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing" said the pharmacist. That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. the girls father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "you never told me that you were so religious" the boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist"
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune." Im a banjo picker and I can confirm this is 99% true.
Why did the clock went out to the gazebo? To spend some time out .
if yall gotta crush on me tell me now before my dad spends my valentines money on crack and alcohol
why do Pepole have a all of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time
What do you call two emos spending time together? Hanging out.
Mommy Is a YouTube she can never spend time with me
"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer but then I realized I do that myself."
Im lonely but all i have is my Cheeseburger but what is the matter of liveing if you only have one thing... but a Cheeseburger is ALL YOU NEED CAUSE IT HAS 1000000000000 BUCKS MAN SO I CANT JUST TAKE IT AND SPEND IT WHERE EVERY I WANT.
best part about being an orphan?
not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling what's 2*3!!! And you crying idk!!!
Why does Oscar Field have no friends because he spends time on his fields.
A women decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.
’About 32,’ is the reply.’
‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.<br> A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’
Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’
‘I was behind you at McDonalds’.
Where did Steven Hawking spend most of his spare time...Currys PC world
I take debt 25000 euro,i spend in charity 20,000,and 5000 euro left,i pay the debt 2000 euro and i have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank,and 3000 euro i have in profit,23,000 +3000>>26000 ;)
Yo mama eats so much she spends her whole life on the toilet
me be straight and bored goes to my local bar which has a goly hole out up spending the rest of the night there about to leave when mf I realize I've been sucking a guys cock this whole time ):
