What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrappers
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
Did you hear about the restaurant there putting on the moon Good food but no atmosphere
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut.
Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
