I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
knock knock who is there cows go cows go who no cows go moooooooooooo not whooooooooooooooooooooo
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella..he sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
What do you call a mushroom that makes music? - a decomposer
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
