SOS jokes

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.

Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?

Terra hasn't forgiven him.

I got caught peeing in the pool.

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!

My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.

And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.

You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.

Your mama is so ugly even Dora can't explore her.

A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.

When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.

Yo mama's so heavy and fat, gravity could not hold her down.

Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?

Orphan: Parent signature: ___________

My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

Did you hear the one about the deaf person?

Me: No.

That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.

So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.

After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.

I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*