SOS jokes

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.

Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

What did one chair say to the other?

"I'm so bummed out!"

You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.

Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!

Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her students were so bright!

People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.

"Hey, how do I look?"

"With your eyes, Joe."

I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.

Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.

So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.

Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.

Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?

So you can see the look on its face...

What did one skeleton say to the other?

Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.