SOS jokes

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.

Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!

Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her students were so bright!

People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.

"Hey, how do I look?"

"With your eyes, Joe."

I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.

Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.

So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.

Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.

Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?

So you can see the look on its face...

What did one skeleton say to the other?

Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.

Why should you always wear rubber?

So you don’t leave DNA evidence.

Why are Mexican families so big?

They don’t know how to put a condom on.

I raped a girl and I liked it.

I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.

It felt so wrong, it felt so right.

Don't mean I'm in love tonight.

My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!