SOS Jokes

Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?

All the exit signs were in English.

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

Two kids were beating up a ginger kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

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