SOS Jokes

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

Went to see a psychic the other day.

I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

So I turned around and left.

Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.

Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:

Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!

Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.