You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say, "Goodbye."
SOS Jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
Your forehead is so big someone thought it was a billboard.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?
He kept making strikes.
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
"In chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king."
I mean, yeah, the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor, so-
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
Friend: Hi, orphan.
Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.
Friend: ummm
Orphan: Exactly, U can't.
Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know what a home base is.
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
Yo mama so stupid, she raised you.
