Sons Jokes

Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.

"Son, I found a condom in your room."

"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"

"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"

"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says "What should their names be?" The uncle replies "Well for your daughter, Denise" "That's a nice name" comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies "Denephew".

A mom gave her son "the talk". her son replies "wait so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.

Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

What did the beaver say to his son? Dam son

My dad died the other day but, i was able to hear his last words"son are you still holding the ladder"

Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died... His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...

jack and jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed jill's thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, But stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son. “The lie isn’t that your adopted.” Says the dad.

I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A wife was cleaning 12-year-old son’s bedroom When she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags, she asked her husband, “what do we do?” The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”