Sons Jokes

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son

Son - Dad I've been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class Dad - Son that's the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn't for you!

A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home. She realizes she's pregnant, and has a baby boy.

The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.

The third year, she's feelling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father1"

Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"

Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 big macs

Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.

A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I'll f--ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don't have any money. She says ok I'll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up fuck.

"Son, I found a condom in your room."

"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"

"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"

"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

A mom gave her son "the talk". her son replies "wait so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.

Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says "What should their names be?" The uncle replies "Well for your daughter, Denise" "That's a nice name" comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies "Denephew".

What did the beaver say to his son? Dam son

My dad died the other day but, i was able to hear his last words"son are you still holding the ladder"

jack and jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed jill's thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, But stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out.

Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died... His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...