Sons Jokes

dad: what did your older brother say before he lost his virginity son: dad please don't dad:exactly

Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!!

A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!" Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"

Boy: mom why are drinking this disgusting red soup, I wanted salad Mom: quite son we only get this once a month

Little Johnny got told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say : I know the truth they give you money so little Johnny says to his mum I know the truth so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone so when little Johnny’s dad gets home little Johnny says I know the truth his dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone so little Johnny try’s it on the post man and says I know the truth and the post man says come here son

A guy start texting a Cute girl and ask to give her phone no. So he can't call her the girl ok but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number then I am gonna be your gf and will meet you somewhere the transfer her the balance and called her but turn out the girl was actually a guy making him fool he blocked him. Next day he was very angry about himself being fool so thought he gonna do the same he make a fake girl account and start texting with some random guy and then he ask that guy to send him balance. Suddenly his father came in his bedroom and ask " son can you send me some balance i am gonna send you can after sometime" that guy look at his father with suspicious eyes and then he call that random number suddenly his father phone start ringing......

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

One day a snail got robbed by two turtles. The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles)

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"

"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."

The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"

"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.

A son asked his mom : why the lines in the LGBTQ community flag are straight ?

Why did steaphen hawkings died. Because his son wanted to charge there phone so they unplugged him

Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?

Son: I don't know.

Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then 😂

My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch. “Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said “Son. That is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games".

Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun, This news, family neuters furry son

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said "Do you wanna?". Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest Son: wheres grandma?

The Man: "Sonny why do you come to get some milk every day?" The Son: "Because , milk is important." The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?" The Boy: "Who?" The Man: "Your mom?" The Boy: "I don't have a mom." The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss." The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy .