Sons jokes

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

Son: What's for dinner tonight?

Mom: Steak!

Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

Mom: HUNGER!

Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.

Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?

Jose and Hose B.

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

Why did the son go to the store?

To find his dad.

Son: Dad, I'm gay.

Dad: I support you.

Son: I like you.

Dad: Get out and into my room!

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).

Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.

Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.

Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?

Son: Why?

Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.

Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.

Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.

Years later:

Dad still did not come back.

What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?

"That is bull crap!"

How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.

How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.

How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

Mom: Son, get up for school.

Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!

Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?

Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.

Son: I hate you!

Person one: What did the DJ name his son?

Person two: IDK, what?

Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).