Son

Son jokes

Condom

Mom: Son, where are my condoms?

Son: What are condoms?

Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.

Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?

Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.

Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.

Butter

Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!

Child

My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"

Eye

Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

Mom: OMG, why son?

Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

Think about it, then spread LMAO.

Little Johnny

Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.

Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.

Mom: Well, it’s my house.

Little Johnny: Then go clean it.

Mom: Go to school!

At school:

Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.

Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.

Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!

Family

Son: “Mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman?”

Mother: “No Son, unless if he’s gay.”

Son: “So your friend is gay?”

Mother with herself: «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me»

Mother: “Mmm.. Yes.”

Father loudly: “YES!!!”

Mother: “What in the hell? Are you gay?”

Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me»

Father: “No what are saying? I’m just talking with myself.”

*A few hours later*

Mother: “I will go to visit my mother.”

Father: “Me too I will go to visit my mother.”

Son: “Not me too I will go to stud with my friends.”

The mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying: «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».

*The End* :D

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  • Name

    Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.

    Student: My name is Buttitches.

    Teacher: Please tell us your real name.

    Student: Buttitches.

    Teacher: I’m calling the police.

    Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.

    Student: Buttitches.

    Police: *shoots gun.*

    A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."

    Dad

    Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.

    Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*

    Dad: Babe, we need to talk.

    Mom: Okay......

    Dad: He's grounded.

    Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.

    Son: Am I getting a new daddy?

    Mom: Soon honey, soon....

    Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.

    Ball

    One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."

    Goat

    Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?

    Son goat: No, what?

    Dad goat: Goat meat.

    Son goat: *Gasps*

    Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.

    Mother

    Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!

    Mum

    Rhydon- son.

    Rhydon? - mum.

    RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.

    Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.

    XD

    Car

    My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.

    Name

    Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.

    Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.

    Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!

    Christmas

    Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?

    12 year old me: Yeah!

    Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?

    Me: What?

    Dad

    A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.

    Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"

    Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"