Here are a few:
While I was out shopping i tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me, for fun I said "Sorry! It's been awhile since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs. . . I hope!
Son: Dad why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
My "parents" are so dumb. Who tf names their son "lydia"?
I impaled my son with a pitchfork... He looks very sharp
dad: what did your older brother say before he lost his virginity son: dad please don't dad:exactly
Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on saint Georges day Irishman: We called our daughter valentine since she was born on valentines day Scotsman: We named our son pancake because he was born on pancake day!
i go 7u7 I sad i go 7u7 get rick and rolled my son
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college?
Bye-son.
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada? Dad: Because you were made there. Mum: We haven't been to Canada Dad: Hol' up a minute
dad: hey son do you like Christmas? 12 year old me: yeah! dad: well how would you feel about two me: what?
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!" Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!!
Vegan teacher the musical Miss Kadie - oh no you poor dead animal Mr. Beast- 🎶 your a dumb Communist Miss Kadie🎶 Chandler-🎵 yup your one high fluting son of a gun🎵 Mr. Beast- 🎵 I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant🎵 Miss Kadie - 🎵 don’t hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans R us kid🎵 kids- 🎵 we’ve had enough of your problems miss Kadie your such a commie Miss Kadie - 🎵 I just want to die because I’m so sad - Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and comits sucide
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning is she ok? hospital? Dad: She's ok now. no hospital. Dad: She had to take the deep penis. Son: Umm...... WHAT!? Dad: I had to inject her with and EPIC PENIS Dad: Oh for god's sakes Dad: Epi Pen
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch. “Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said “Son. That is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games".
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun, This news, family neuters furry son
dad:uh yea! son:mom dad what are you doing! parents:SEX! son:what? parents:look you can spectate!
Why did steaphen hawkings died. Because his son wanted to charge there phone so they unplugged him
