If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid, I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny? 2nd Person: Yeah, sure! 1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
How is a woman and a car alike put something in them and they'll both start.
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... Is it counterinuitive?
