Someone jokes

As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"

Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?

"Wow, Harry!"

What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?

Josef Vasicek.

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

911.

911 who?

You said you would never forget.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

Why do orphans go to church?

Why?

To finally call someone "father."

Orphan: Help, I'm lost.

Someone: Wears your parents.

Orphan: >:(

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.

Why do orphans come to me?

'Cause they have someone to call "father."

I'm as bored as heck, someone wanna chat?

Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.

Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.

I was going to join the debating team.

... but someone talked me out of it.

Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.

After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"

Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."

Nobody stands up.

After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."

Little Johnny stands up.

"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"

"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.

Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.

My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?

Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.

Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.

Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-

Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.

Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?