Someone jokes
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
What do you call someone with a big butt?
The Thightanic!
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.
What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.
Orphan: Help, I'm lost.
Someone: Wears your parents.
Orphan: >:(
Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.
I'm as bored as heck, someone wanna chat?
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.